The emotional effects of modern-day society on kids

Our modern and busy lives demand much of our attention and energy. Day after day, we are busy keeping our employer, partner, customers, friends, and children happy, trying to give them the right amount of attention. But unfortunately, the last group, our children, often fall short. As much as we’d like to, and no matter our good intentions, our children end up (often unconsciously) in our chaos. The consequences of this possible neglect are significant and can leave adverse effects on them until late in life.

How are children affected?

Children are in a constant learning process from the day they are born. They do not know the world yet and entirely depend on their environment to teach them everything. But what happens when a parent is too busy or absent? Who, if not you, gives the child the love, attention, and connection it can only get from a parent? As I mentioned earlier, these things often happen without us realizing it. There may be hundreds of reasons why sometimes we can’t or don’t want to focus our full attention on our kids, so for now, we only look at the most common reasons.

Economic reasons

As inflation keeps going and bills pile up, many parents are forced to work long hours. Naturally, this leaves us less time for our children. Once we get home from a long day of working, it is very understandable to put the kids to bed early to enjoy a moment to yourself in front of the TV or with your partner. But how much time does this leave between dinner and the kid’s bedtime?

Often far too little.

Single-parent families

Especially for single parents, it is often difficult to find the right balance between work, the household, and the children. Particularly in families with several kids craving attention, it can be challenging to divide your limited time and focus on the individual.

daycare

In families where either both parents work or in single-parent situations, it is often necessary to have your kids stay in a daycare facility during the day or after school. Children usually receive the time and attention they so desperately need at good daycares, but this should never be a substitute for the parent-child bond. No matter how good or bad you do as a parent, you are the most important person in your child’s life.

Tv and social media

We live in a digital age where television and digital media have become almost indispensable in our current lives. Our mobile phone became our best friend for reducing our thoughts to zero when we don’t want to be preoccupied with the things on our minds and around us. So, how easy is it to bring our kids under the same hypnosis when they cry, are pushy, demand attention, or are hyperactive? I bet almost every parent is guilty of this to some extent. “Put them behind the iPad or TV so that we also have some peace and time to ourselves.” But just when a child is pushy, cries, or demands attention, they have needs that want to be met. By making them stare at a screen instead of fulfilling those needs, you indirectly tell them that their needs shouldn’t be there and that they should watch a movie or play a game to suppress those needs. Exactly what you also do to yourself at the end of the day…

What are the consequences?

At a young age

Children deficient in their basic needs can suffer damage from an early age. When there’s a lack of security, love, attention, and space for emotions, the child feels that these emotions are not allowed to be there and are a burden to the parents. Hiding feelings leads the child to become more distant and not learn to deal with emotions.

Later in life

A child who does not learn sufficiently to meet their basic needs will experience the consequences of this for the rest of their life unless they work on their personal development through inner child therapy. When a child “wasn’t allowed to be there” early on in life, they will later usually self-efface and often develop a lack of self-esteem. If a child doesn’t know what genuine love is, they will never be able to provide true love to himself or others. Suppose a child was never given the space to express their emotions or was taught to put them aside and not to be a burden to anyone. In that case, the child will likely be unable to express their feelings properly later. This often results in anger, aggression, of superficial relationships.

Why is it important to be aware of these influences?

The influence of modern-day society on our children is enormous. Let’s be honest; it won’t hurt your child to put them behind a screen now and then. And there is nothing wrong with daycare, as long as you are aware that a child has the same and more needs as you do. As easy and harmless as it may seem to engage your child with all kinds of tricks and distract their attention when they are annoying or crying, hypnosis in any form is not the solution, at least not in the long term.

What can you do as a parent?

As parents, you all want the best for your child. Unfortunately, however, we usually don’t realize the influences we unconsciously exert on our children. In most cases, we have never learned how to meet our own needs and cannot pass on these lessons correctly to our children.

Are you aware of the influences you have on your child? Do you know how to react when You are angry or sad, and what solution you would like to see in such a moment? Awareness is the first step in the process. With any decision you make that relates to your children, I recommend that you briefly consider whether your choices will benefit your child. Whether it’s about parents who want to work more hours or put their children in front of the TV instead of focusing their full attention on them, your choices influence how your child is conditioned. You as a parent largely determine how your child functions in relationships (including with their parents) later in life, how well they can deal with emotions, and how they learn to cope with kids of their own.

Closing

As I mentioned earlier, many parents still run into problems of their own during their lives. This, too, results from certain shortcomings (or too much of something) in one’s own upbringing. But if you never learned what is right, how can you teach your children?

If you feel you have issues from the past to solve, or you would like to learn how to be more attentive to your children, I recommend you look on my website. I specialize in Inner-child Therapy, communication, and Solution-Oriented Coaching. These forms of coaching are all particularly suitable for raising the relationship with yourself and your kids to a higher level. Don’t let your kids or yourself become victims of modern society. Learn how to handle life better and more fulfilling by improving your communication with your child.